Laferrari
by lrhaboggle
Summary: As a consolation gift following the events of the Carmilla series, Lafontaine goes out and buys a sexy new hotrod. Perry is less than impressed. Especially given Lafontaine's ridiculous reason for buying such a high-end racer in the first place!


Perry had been tending to her garden when the sound of a blaring horn caused her to fall face first into the dirt out of sheer surprise.

"What the heck?!" she cried indignantly, jumping up and turning around as she wiped the mud from her face. What she saw caused all of her anger to turn into shock. "Lafontaine?" yup. Perry's best friend of 15 years sat in the driver seat of a really big, really fancy, really red sports car.

"Hey Perr!" Lafontaine smirked, clearly pleased by Perry's stunned expression. The engine purred as Lafontaine slowed to a halt.

"What? What? What is that?!" Perry finally forced out, shaking and pointing with a comical expression.

"Our sexy new car!" Lafontaine responded proudly. They patted the vehicle and rubbed their shoulders against the seats.

"What?!" Perry choked again. "But how? When? Where? Why?"

"Jeeze, Perr, I thought Laura was supposed to be the journalist asking all the questions," Lafontaine teased. But seeing that Perry was genuinely confused and concerned, they gave a pitying smile and explained.

Laura, courtesy of Carmilla, had bought Lafontaine this car as a very early birthday gift and as an apology for all they had to go through last year when the dean was still threatening to bring about the apocalypse.

"By why _that_ car?" Perry asked. "Since when were you into sports cars? I mean, couldn't Carmilla have given you something calmer and safer?"

"Perhaps," Lafontaine smirked at Perry's motherly worry about the safety of the car. "But this was the one I wanted and Carmilla did say I could have whichever I pleased. Besides, it's a high-end car. It is pretty safe, albeit loud," they explained. "And to answer why I wanted this car of all cars is because, along with being a great chance to see how many flamethrowers I can add to an engine, it's called a Laferrari!" Perry's jaw fell.

"I can't believe you bought a car just because it sounded like our ship name!" she sighed in exasperation. "Wait. Flamethrowers?!"

"Of course I have to buy something we both can enjoy!" Lafontaine exclaimed. "See the bumper? I've got 'Laferry's Laferrari Love Bug' written on it!" they bragged. Then they answered Perry's second question. "And the flamethrowers? Well, they're tied to the exhaust pipe and I've actually installed a few as boosters to the main engine. It's safer than you think!" they patted the car's bright red side again.

"Safer?" Perry croaked, at a loss for words. This pretty much summed up Lafontaine. Incredibly cheesy, incredibly loving, incredibly smart and incredibly daring/insane.

"So, what do you think?" Lafontaine asked as Perry continued to shake, gawk and point.

"It's, it's, it's fine! But, but, but-" it was clear Perry didn't even know where to begin, so Lafontaine took the lead again.

"Wanna ride with me?" they asked. "I could use an excuse to show this bad boy off and it wouldn't be official without you in shotgun!"

"Ummm, no thanks, I don't think I really want to…" Perry began awkwardly, then Lafontaine proceeded to use their puppy face…

"Laf! That was a 60 mph turn in a 40 mph area!" Perry shrieked, clinging to the door with a grip that might have rivaled Carmilla's old vampiric strength. Her face was totally white and her body was tighter than a spring as the Laferry Laferrari went hard and fast across the road.

"Amazing, right?!" Lafontaine had to shout because their window was down and the wind was roaring. "I hooked a few inventions of my own to this puppy and now its acceleration is even faster!" they were totally oblivious to how Perry's screams were of fear and not ecstasy.

"Wasn't it fast enough already?!" Perry's voice was ragged from terror as they took another sharp turn. True, the car drove smooth as butter, but such high speeds scared Perry and Lafontaine had the wheel. It was all Perry could do not totally have a panic attack.

"Woo hoo!" Lafontaine bellowed, Perry only gave a frightened squeak and somehow managed to hold onto her door a little tighter.

10 minutes later, Lafontaine finally decided to stop, pulling up right in front of a quaint little restaurant. They leapt from the Laferrari while Perry staggered out, hardly daring to believe she was on safe, solid ground again. So stunned and relieved was she, that she didn't even realize they were at a restaurant. Lafontaine saw her almost bewildered expression and finally took some pity on her.

"You ok, Perr?" they supported Perry gently as she swayed slightly.

"Fine, fine, fine," Perry giggled nervously. Lafontaine did laugh too, but they also tightened their grip on Perry and rubbed her back soothingly. As funny as it was, Lafontaine didn't like seeing Perry so afraid.

"I am sorry I went so fast. I shouldn't have put you through that that, but I just kind of got lost in the moment, you know?" they asked.

"Yeah, I know," Perry replied, still sounding a bit queasy, but no longer shaking or panting. "It's immature, but reasonable, I suppose," she said. Lafontaine chuckled and allowed Perry to continue to regain her senses. Then at last, Perry realized where they were.

"Are you ready to go in?" Lafontaine asked next, still speaking gently.

"Yes," Perry answered, the last of her anxiety fading the longer she stood on solid ground.

"Wonderful!" Lafontaine grinned, then they stood up taller and held out their arm in courtly manner. Seeing this made Perry giggle and she curtseyed back before taking the offered arm and allowing Lafontaine to lead her inside.

Several hours and one pleasant dinner later, Lafontaine and Perry emerged from the restaurant. A full moon greeted them. Hmmm, they had been inside longer than they had thought. But it had been so fun! As the couple approached the Laferrari, however, a change came over Perry.

"Don't worry, Perr, I promise I'll go slow," Lafontaine whispered. Perry still seemed unsure, but she trusted Lafontaine so she climbed back into the expensive sports vehicle once more. Lafontaine shut the door behind her before heading to their own door. Once inside, Lafontaine gave a happy sigh before turning on the lights, music and ignition. They, however, never got to turn on the shift. Perry's arm had shot out and covered it.

"What, Perr?" Lafontaine asked, looking back up to their companion. Perry had a stern, disapproving look on her face. For a moment, Lafontaine didn't get why, but then they realized that something _motherly_ was in Perry's eyes.

"Yes, dear," they sighed in resignation, straightening up to put on their seatbelt. After the belt clicked, they heard a satisfied chuckle.

"Just wanna make sure you're safe," Perry said, running a finger over Lafontaine's belt.

"Yes dear," Lafontaine repeated, a small smile spreading across their face. To be truthful, they liked Perry's overprotectiveness, though they pretended to find it annoying. Perry, all the while, had regained her confidence because playing mother was her comfort place. Though she was still somewhat afraid of this fancy car, getting to protect Lafontaine brought out an old side of her that feared nothing and was always calm, collected, and in charge. What's more, Lafontaine made good on their word and drove exactly the speed limit the whole way home. Ok. Perry had to admit, the Laferry Laferrari was pretty sweet.

 **AN: Once again, I only wrote this fic for the pun title and because I'm Laferry trash (in case you couldn't tell yet).**


End file.
